You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize