My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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