I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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