1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize