i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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