yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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