Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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