Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
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You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
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No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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