I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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