I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize