don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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