The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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