either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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