i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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