so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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