I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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