he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize