I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
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I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
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You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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