do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Life is so much better after having sex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize