i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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