There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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