just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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