i think my tv is drunk
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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