they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize