my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
