I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize