we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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