I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize