my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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