Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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