how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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