She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My friends, they love my intelligence
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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