dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize