Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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