Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize