whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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