haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize