I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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