My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize