Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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