the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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