maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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