I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize