Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much gin, very little bucket
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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