you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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