do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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