She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
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apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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