so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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