I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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