if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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