I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize